This morning tears were dropping down my cheeks as I painted. I don't know if it was compassion fatigue. Overwhelm about people suffering from destruction of hurricanes. The despair of racism and the current presidency. Maybe it is the sadness over the new cancer diagnosis of a friend's son and the courage needed for that battle. The very prayers I am holding at this canvas, "open to new life" "accepting uncertainty" and "peace in between", touch me personally. Being alive is so courageous. Battling for your life is courageous. Letting go is courageous. Tears fall for my brother in law who died suddenly just 10 months ago.
I sit and look at these magnolias. They are as delicate and elegant as a flower could be. Even in this incomplete stage, there is a calm and comfort that comes off of them.
And I'm reminded. Reminded that in the face of life's hardest battles, the darkest grief and deepest pain, beauty can help resuscitate us, and remind us of what is really true. If there is anything I know for sure, that this last year has taught me, it is that love keeps going.
Love is the wind in the leaves. Love is the friend helping you through a hard time. Love is speaking truth, taking a knee. Love is holding your hand during a nightmare you can't wake from. Love is present with you in the emptiness. Love is calling to you through the noise. When I am still enough, a stillness that comes to me with brushstrokes, I remember this presence of love.